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Some people are born with an innate sense of
competitiveness. They strive to be the very best in everything they do. When
they take up a sport, they will settle for nothing less than first place. The
drive to win pushes them past pain and fatigue and onto the podium time after
time. This drive is so strong, that if they break a bone, they might still keep going.
Other people do not like to compete at all. They will only
workout when it is enjoyable and either in solitary or entirely cooperative
environment. They don’t really care how they measure up against others as
long as they are having a good time.
And then, there are those of us who fall somewhere in the
middle. For me, this means being an athlete whose abilities don’t match up to
my competitive drive and who despite training intensely always ends up in
middle of the pack and resigning myself to PRs and simply trying to enjoy the
sport for what it is.
For years I have tried to reconcile these two things, to
lose my competitive drive, or at least temper it somewhat and just enjoy sports for
their innate physicality. But I really enjoy competition, and as a result, I
tend to enter and train for a lot of races.
This year I am signed up for 2 Sprint Triathlons (Lincoln Park , Iron Girl Sandy Hook), 1 Olympic Triathlon
(NYC), a half marathon (Buffalo ) and a marathon
(Atlantic City ).
I don’t expect to win any of these. In fact, I don’t expect
to be above the middle of my age group, unless a miracle happens. However, I am
shooting for a PR in all of them and, of course, to enjoy myself.
I’m not sure whether my inability to win in sports is a
matter of simple genetics or deeply seated psychological issues which prevent
me from truly giving it my all. But, I have never been able to push past being in
the middle of the pack. It has taken me a long time to be “okay” with that, but I am. I don't really need to win to enjoy competing. I
have often wondered whether I simply have a low pain tolerance, whether I lack
discipline or whether it is just that I simply can’t imagine myself winning and
don’t train for that task. I’m not sure I’ll ever really know the answer.
However, it is easy to feel inadequate if you compete. Part
of the reason is that, in competition, there are winners and losers and if you
are not the winner, then by definition you are ones of the losers. Often times, fellow loud-mouthed
competitors don’t seem to want to let you forget this. They say things like “real
runners do (such and such)” and imply that if you are simply out to have fun or
run a PR, you’re not a “real” athlete. If you compete, you can sometimes feel judged for
not winning or not at least “trying” to win. If you are a back of the packer you may
even get treated like a second class citizen.
This is totally crazy, when you think about it, since most
people aren't going to win in any given race and most people aren't even in the
top ten of larger races. Except for a handful of people, most of us are “losers”.
So why does a dickish minority get to decide how we race? If you see someone talking smack like this, feel free to tell them
to shut up.
This negative attitude which creeps into competitive sports might
have you saying “Why race at all if not to win? Why even compete?” Sure, you can still exercise
and not compete and just find a way to push yourself every day. While I admire
people who can do this, I am not one of them. I find a certain joy in seeing
how I measure up against my peers, to seeing how much further I can go, if I really
push it hard. Competition forces me out of my comfort zone. It gives me an end
goal and a measuring stick to see if I've been successful at meeting that goal. Just because I am not the fastest, doesn't mean I can't be faster than I am!
On the other end of the spectrum are the people who say “You
are lapping everyone on the couch!” This annoys me also. While not mean
spirited, it is insulting to compare an athlete who trains hard and competes
regularly to a person who does nothing. I don’t want to beat a non-athlete. That’s
pretty easy to do. I want to be the best me I can be. I want to push my body to
go as far as it can, to be as fit as I can be without taking it too far. When I
enter a race and get my results, I wonder if it is possible to climb higher
next time. I am not competing against the people on the couch, I am competing
against the people I raced against. I want to continually improve.
So, what should you say to an athlete after a race or
competition? For me, the top questions would be “How did it go?” “Did you meet
your goals?” “Is there anything you felt you could improve upon?” “What did you
learn from this experience?” and “Did you have fun?”
Whether you are competitive or not is a matter of personal
preference and no other person’s opinion should stop you from being active. But
if you are competitive, you shouldn't let not being number one stop you from competing! The fun truly is in competing against yourself.
